My fiancee and I am are looking at getting married February because of several facts and we love each other so much. But my family thinks I am WAY too young and her and I would not financially succeed. Here are the facts:
I am going to college on a full ride Army ROTC scholarship and I am a sophomore with a 3.8 GPA.
My fiancee lives in NV and I in MO.
We are both LDS and sex before marriage and living together is out of the question.
The long distance is hurting our relationship because human touch cannot be replaced.
We got engaged in July.
I'm 20 and will be 21 in May.
She is 19 and will be 20 in August.
We plan on getting an apartment and her working full time while I go to school with the Army and maybe get a part time job.
We have saved $5,000 for her moving here and starting out.
We have not yet announced our wedding date since money and long distance stuff.
My family does not support the marriage because of ';being too young and not financially ready'; since they think we will fail.
Her family is not too hot about it but they are supportive. All of her family married around 18.
The Army is going to give me $25,000 next November in 2009.
I do know she is the one for me and I want to take her to the temple. We have the same values, have been through our fights and near break ups but we love each other more afterwards. She has completed a year of college. I want the best for us but since she lives 1,300 miles away the long distance kills (we have always been long distance). We are planning on her moving down in January and getting married two weeks later. We plan on announcing it to our families in three weeks. I just want some input because I hate getting into it with my parents thinking I am making the worst mistake of my life but I honestly think we can make it, and once I am a Army officer we will be okay. I am already in my career field and I do have good time management, and discipline, because if I didn't the Army would not be giving me a full ride to college and a officer commission in 2011.
I would like some advice and comments. Young Marriage advice or at least a double check on getting married. ?
CONGRATS! My husband is in the Army, he is 20 and he is LDS or was I guess, so I know what you feel.
I think that most people aren't financially stabled when they first get married. THAT is how you both learn to value each other... Seeing that you both are putting their all to prosper makes a big difference than coming into a marriage with your ';own'; money and all.
Age is not a factor, finance can be but if you two are ready to make it work you will make it!
I really hope you do what you two really wish to do. I promise you'll be OK!
Young Marriage advice or at least a double check on getting married. ?
I would live together before getting married. Give it a years time. I know this from experience. Once you move in together everything changes..
Tough one. I got married at 19 thinking we had it all planned out and were going to be together forever. After 19 years we split up because we grew apart. Looking back I wish we had waited a few years. I don't regret the marriage because it gave me four great kids. I do however wished we had waited a few years to get to know each other way better then we did. You didn't say how long you have been together. Its hard when you are young and feel like you can take the world by the reins. I do agree with the others. It sounds like you are very mature and have thought this through. My ex was 20 going on 21 and I was 19 when we got married. I would wait another year or two. But that is me. Blessings and best of luck what ever you decide.
Is she ready for deployments and time away from you and TDY's??? so the distance is killing you guys, just wait until you get deployed and she is pregnant with a child or you can;t come hoem for christmas because you are on a deployment, I don;t think she knows what she is in for, as an ex-military soldier who had to spend an entire years tour away form family and then a tiur in kuwiat during the war, its no picknick, and I am the Mom, my husband was also military and he was not happy being the single parent, believe me, I got out and then I stayed home while he went thru 4 deployments.
Just because Obama promices to pull out of Iraq doesn;t mean we will presidents promice thigns all the time and then never do it.
Do you guys know how you are with money, and kids, you oviously know how you are in fights.
My son is currently away form his love. she is 18 and he is 20 and he is in the airforce. The distance prepares you for deployments because you gotta know you will be deployed, its the nature of the beast.
But I think if you live close to each other you will be risking having sex before marriage...thats just my opinion. Bepfre you can get her to the temple. I would go thru marriage counseling before you get married , if she can;t handel the distance now, what makes you think she can handel the distance when you get deployed for 9 to 17 months at a time???
Sounds like you two are very responsible. I admire your reasoning and the fact that you are searching for the best for you both. Is there anyway she can move closer to you without actually moving in together? I think its important to be around someone on a continuous basis before getting married....but if not, then go ahead and get married. It doesnt sound like anything is going to stop you anyway. I personally think you are too young just cuz I got married young. but, hey, life is for living so do what makes you happy!
Dude...drop all the religious beleifs right now...they only get you intro trouble.....like getting married for example and not having sex and all that jazz.
You're young and you are going to be an officer in the army. You want to be able to get out there and have fun alongside your troops no?
What are you gonna do when all the guy's you're in charge of come back with wild stories....and all you have is the boring married life?
Think about it.
Too much resposiblity too soon.
You sound like you both have thought this through and are being very responsible.
I don't think you are making a mistake and I do believe you have a great chance at having a wonderful life together.
It sounds like two people in love that want to be together and are doing what they need to do to make it happen.
The only suggestion I would make if I was your mom is not to have children right away. Other then that I would wish you both happiness and hope that you would invite me to the wedding.
You are not making a mistake. You are going to be fine. Congratulations. May you have many years together and all the love your hearts can hold.
I think you can make it. I have been in the military for a few years and have seen many young couple make it.
The only thing to be wary of, she may not understand why you have to be away from her so much, to study and do ROTC stuff. My ex was in ROTC and he barely had time for ROTC, he hated it cause they made him do so much crap.
The majority of guys I have dated while going to school did not like the fact I could not spend all my time with them.
Also, the number one problem I have seen in the military is spouses being mad about things that their spoouse needs to do. Such as training periods and going away, that sort of thing.
An ROTC scholarship is not worth messing up becuase your GF is complaining. Trust me, spouses take up more time than you think.
That is the only reason I would hold off. I would say wait a couple more years, cause opportunity's do not always come back. You think you have an infinite supply when you are young, but you don't. Don't blow this scholarship, love can wait 2 years.
You seem like you have your head on straight, love her and have plans set up to keep yourself financially stable. You actually sound more mature than a lot of people ten years older than you. While it is true that more marriages fail when the couple married young, I think there are exceptions to every rule. If it feels right, go for it, since living together is out of the question for you.
Best of luck to you both.
Seems to me like you have a great head on your shoulders. There are several people out there that are having babies at 16 and getting married is not even in their vocabulary. You keep doing what you are doing. The army is great but you really have to stay in long term to reap the full benefits. Make sure that you discuss this with your future wife. Sometimes, things change once she comes out and you all start living together. The fact that you all have not been physical to this point, says a lot about the both of you. Getting married at 21 is young but you should not be frowned upon if this is something that you are sure that you want to do. Your family should support you no matter what your decision is.
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