i think u need to sit down him down and have serious talk about what ur feeling, and to know what he is really feeling.Marriage Advice - Is my husband thinking about cheating on me/leaving me?
Schedule another doctor's visit and take your husband with you. The doctor will see you with your husband present if you wish and then you should raise all your health issues, including the painful sex. If he hears straight from the horse's mouth about your prognosis and recovery perhaps your husband will be more helpful and thoughtful toward you.
If not, consider counseling.
Ultimately it is your body. I wouldn't have sex if it hurt and you shouldn't either. I don't see how your husband could possibly enjoy the sex if you are wincing or crying out in pain. Makes him sound like a jerk or a sadist. Assert yourself! Just say NO until you recover. Solict help from relatives with the children or ignore the housework except for essentials like cooking for the children and keeping the kitchen and bathrooms clean for sanitation's sake. Everything else can wait until you recover.
talk to him, explain your feelings. dont be suprised if he clams up though, thats how we guys are, but he is listening. He may be getting the 7 year itch a little early. 2-3 times a week is pretty good though. especially with three kids around. do you keep it interesting or just blaaa?
It is presumptuous to think he is already cheating...the moment he stops asking, then probably you'd be more concerned. He might feel the same way about you---that you changed! Both of you are going through a stressful time, so ';thoughts'; like this is expected. You really need to talk. If he agrees to it, you can even take him to a doctor with you and let the doctor explain what you are going through and expected to go through. Most importantly, ';reassure'; him that it's got nothing to do with him and that you'll make it up to him once you feel better. Well, at times when you're not so tired, what about giving him a mouth job, if nothing else? Good luck! Get well...
I don't think that he is going to cheat on your or leave you. I just think that he feels very frustrated. Before your surgery he was used to having sex a lot more than he is now. You just need to explain to him that if he is supportive and helps you out that you will be able to have sex a lot sooner than if you dint have the proper time to heal! Let him know that you do want to be intimate but your body can't until it heals, I am sure that he will help you out then, and be a little bit more understanding!
to bad for him he must understand your situation and try to work things out for u and him maybe he's going through something too and he does not know how to tell u ,he might not like to see his wife in pain all i know is to talk to him and see where it goes.
that sounds terrible. the last thing you need is a complaint about the sex life. And honestly, I don't know why he is complaining about having sex 2-3 times a week. considering you have 3 kids, are sick, building a house etc, that is a lot. that is actually a decent amount for any normal couple with out those stresses. I am newly married, young, and we are just in school, have an apartment to our selves, and I am complaining that we only have sex once a week if I'm lucky, and nothing is even wrong with us, we just don't find the time.
My guess is that he is probably being selfish because he is stressed with the new house and your sickness. You would be a better judge than we would of his character. Is he acting strange other than that? are you still communicating well? I would recomend having a good talk with him. Ask him what is upsetting HIM lately, make it about him first so that he feels you care about how he is feeling. if he feels neglected or stressed. THEN tell him about yourself and how you feel.. it will likely work better if you aren't on the offence.
good luck, really hopw it works out for you.
I don't know if he's thinking of cheating, but he's obviously being very selfish. You need to explain to him very clearly and simply that you are not feeling good and why. If he doesn't seem to understand ask him how often he'd want sex if he got punched the balls every time he gave a thrust? Maybe he'll understand a bit.
I wish you luck.
I don't think he's thinking about leaving you, or even cheating on you. I do think that he is feeling neglected and probably a little frustrated sexually, not unusual becauses many men just do not understand things that don't directly focus on them. You could try explaining it to him again, but I doubt that would work. Try getting him to come to your next MD appointment with you %26amp; let the doctor explain your situation to him. Then he just might begin to understand. It is frustrating for you that he doesn't get it, but men just don't communicate the way we women do. If this doesn't work, you just might need to see a counselor to work this out before it does become a bigger problem.
You really need to sit him down and talk. Sex 2-3 times a week is good considering the other factors in your life. Maybe see if someone can take the kids for a week-end and get some alone time with hubby. Wait until you feel totally recovered from the infection. You are probably run down and need a rest.
This complaint dogs every marriage with children. Consider it the turbulence a jet experiences going through the sound barrier. Every man has a difficult time realizing he has sworn to only have sex with ONE woman and that woman is telling him NO for apparently a long time. This broke up my first marriage because I wasn't mature enough to deal with it. To me it seemed like one big bait and switch. My wife got what she wanted -- big house, kids, stay at home situation. What did I get? Bills, all the responsibility for earning the money, and my Johnson in my hand. It creates resentment in bushels.
Now, if you survive this time, good for you. It can get better again.
But odds are from what you're saying about your ex, he is not one of those guys who will happily give you some room.
I would not bet on your marriage lasting the decade. Sorry, but that's how I see it.
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No,but i seriously think that you two need to get a baby sitter and go somewhere and talk,you both are under a lot of stress,and you two have a lot going on.
Why are some men like this? That annoys me. I don't have an answer to your question ... and I doubt anyone else does ... but I can say this. Take care of YOU. You have an infection that needs to be taken care of. You need time to heal. Sex would be the absolute LAST thing on my mind at this time. Some people are selfish and don't care. They only want what they want. I'd take care of me, my kids and the house last ... in this situation, you'll have to demand and take the respect you deserve.
Good luck!
Communicate. Your husband loves you and the closeness you used to share. You need to get your infection figured out so you can get things back to normal sexually. How long can it go on? You need to talk to him about deadline and supporting you through this issue. Talk to your doctor about remedies to solve the painful sex. Or at least give him a BJ. It is not fair for your husband to have to accept this change. You need to meet him in the middle a little.
I've had a affair with a married man for 2 years from the summer of 2005 to January 2007 until his wife / cops / court found out and he STILL wanted to be with me but I moved 1,000 miles away from him and he can NOT located me.... DO NOT BE INVOLVED WITH A MARRIED MAN! He promise me EVERYTHING and that he would leave his wife for me but he didn't and he was only usinng me for s**.
I'm 22 and he is 56. He has been married to his 2nd wife of 22 years and has 1 boy and one who with needs.
1st spouses should always give into sex. BUT you have a medical condition so its different I would hire a maid/nanny
to help out short term. I know you may not like the expense
but it will save the marriage. Take it out of your 401k or your
home equity line on the house. Good Luck !!!!!!!
I don't think he's thinking of leaving you or cheating on you unless you left out some details to your story. You do however need to talk to him about your feelings. He needs to know how devastating you are feeling from taking care of the kids, the house and about your medical issues. If he truly loves you, he'll understand and offer to help you more. Plus he's getting it 2 or 3 times a week so he's not sex starved, also why can't he approach you about sex?
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