I don't know whats going on in my marriage any advice?

I've been married for two years exactly I'm 22 he's 30. we had a baby 9 moths ago. First issue is sex we never or at least I never felt that super intense sexual connection with him it was just fine whatever sex I mean but I loved him so that made it good. Well we don't have sex at all anymore like this month we have had it twice and we've been arguing alot lately we sleep in separate bedrooms because he snores and keeps me up I also have post partum depression ( which is getting better). Last night we went out for our anniversary and we had drinks and ate some dinner and that went just fine but we were supposed to pick up condoms at the store after picking the baby up and get a couple more beers well we get to the car and he says '; lets just not go to the store it's late and we don't know what the baby is gonna be like when we get home and I'm tired'; So my whole I might get lucky plan got shot to hell. And then we get into an argument about some stupid song on the radio I disagreed with what it meant well long story short he said '; You always have to disagree with me because your unhappy with who you are'; then he said'; God! I ate talking to you your so retarded!'; then we get home and he goes straight to bed. Then low and behold! this morning he comes out to the living room where I sleep and asks for sex with no condom!!!! If I get prego again i'm gonna poke out my eye! and the sex lasted a minute literally like one minute just like it always does. I'm getting carpel tunnell from using my hand here! I just don't feel that in love feeling anymore I want to work on it but he's really difficult to talk to. He's always tired and just lays on the couch most of the night. He is a huge help to me with the baby but it's like somethings missing and I can't put my finger on it. any help would be nice. should I talk to him about counseling?I don't know whats going on in my marriage any advice?
File for DivorceI don't know whats going on in my marriage any advice?
Get a DilDo lmao ...But yeha im 18 and i know how u feel.. yes im already married lolz and having a kid.but idk what to say to you..Sozz
yes
Sometimes after having a baby the man has a hard time dealing with what he saw at the birth. When something that big comes out of what he thinks is HIS happy place, it weirds them out. You both need counseling or really good communication skills with each other.Hope things work out for your family.
Anyone who says sex is not a very very important part of marriage is wrong in my opinion. It just brings you so much closer together in so many ways. If he doesn't pick up his libido some you will become all the more frustrated. And the one minute of sex part, i am so sorry for you. if you plan to stay married you need to get a good vibrator. Good luck
Wow, the honesty in your question almost hurts.





It is a sad fact that the best anti-aphrodisiac in the world is children and pregnancy, I don't understand why everyone hasn't gotten that yet.





He is good with the kid, that's great, but at what cost?





Having sex with a condom is not the same as having sex, (I assume you are in monogamous relationship), so from a sex point of view he isn't getting what he wants out of your relationship sexually.





Making your partner put on a condom may be laudible in a casual sex encounter,but in your relationship, it isinterrupting the romantic flow.





';Put on a condom or your not getting any';, is enough to deflate most men's penis.





A man's brain is his biggest sex organ, so now he is unable to play out sex as he wants to with you and you haven't figure that out yet??





I strongly suggest that as you sleeping in seperate bedrooms, you are not a part of his sex play anymore, and why would you be, he gets hard, has a fantasy (maybe you are in it or maybe someone else), and then he ejaculates, and gets the let down hormone (guys get after cumming), so he has a complete sex regime, and doesn't need you as part of it.





You say you have carpel tunnel syndrome from helping yourself, you need to involve him in sex play, or you will lose him, to another (be it himself, another woman, or another guy), as you are out of his sex picture.





I doubt you would get him to go to counselling, but its worth a shot. I suggest you try some other form of contraception (pill, diagphram, mornming after pill, spermicidal jelly, anything but stopping him and breaking the mood, to make him put on a raincoat).





Also look inward, as a lot of girls/ women, let themselves go to pieces straight after birth, and can justify it to themselves in a million different ways (I put on weight during pregnancy etc).





Have you gone back to exactly the same size and shape and weight that you were on the day you concieved, and are you the same person he fell in love with, or are you something different now.





He has a role and a responsibility in this, but it is you who are unhappy about it and have raised the problem, have you talked about it honestly and dispassionately with him ??





Women marry men, hoping they will change, and Men marry women, hoping they will never change, and both are bitterly dissapinted.





I am sorry if my answer sounds brutal, but you touched my heart with your question..... Good Luck
Hi there. I'm really not trying to be a know it all this is just my advice and idea. I know you want to work things out. Try sitting him down and talking with him. You know you love him and he loves you. Talk about your problems and how you feel. Maybe take your baby for a walk. Try to spend family time with him and your child. Really talk with him. I'm sure you can work things out. I'm sure your both really stressed. Talk with each other and plain family outings. If that doesn't work then maybe talk to a therpist (sorry I know that's not spelled right. I'm 33 and still can't spell) I'm sure you will work things out.
If you aren't happy and dont feel you can have a super constructive conversation alone with him, a counselor can help. Even if its just to be a mediator so things dont get off topic and out of control. It doesn't sound like a hopeless situation at all. Its hard work to be married and be happy in this world. You have to work at it.





And ask yourself what YOU can do to help the situation, not just what he can do what he is doing wrong. You are the only person you control. If you aren't happy you need to take responsibility for that and do all you can to make it better, for you, your marriage and especially your child.
You have to really sit down and talk to each other. Sex connects two people and if you have problem making time for each other, then you are in trouble. Women and men are different; Women are emotional while men are physical; when women have problem, we want to talk while when men have problem, they seek to have sex(physical) to release that stress...





You have a 9 month old child and that take a great amount of energy from BOTH of you, that's perfectly understandable. But try your best to accommodate each others needs...





Good Luck!
seems to me that you are missing the sexual connection and the initial connection altogether. without these two components working hand-in-hand, your marriage is on a rocky cliff, and this is hard to deal with as it is, but having PPD doesn't help either. was he super interested in sex before? or is this a new thing that he just isn't interested? if i were you, i would try talking with him and being straight with him about what is going on... if he isn't receptive to changes on both of your behalves, you could attempt the counseling route, but he may turn that idea off to. if all else fails, off to the courthouse for prelim. paperwork. good luck to you both and happy new year!
sounds like this is tough, you need to decide what is best for all 3 of you and go from there. you are the only one that knows for sure your relationship, if it is bad then work on changing it for 2009. good luck.
Wow lot of data there. 22 %26amp; 30 is WAY too young to be sexually dysfunctional (we're 40 and dysfunctional and I'm not sure that's much better...). If it's only been a month it might just be a passing phase don't panic yet. Also not sure about him calling you a retard - that's either really immature or heading down the abusive road; only time will tell so be careful there. I do have one quick win for you two - on the snoring issue. Have him see his doctor about getting a CPAP machine. It's a mask thing you wear at night that keeps positive pressure in your throat and eliminates snoring completely. I was the worst snorer and borderline sleep apnea and this thing cleared it right up. It takes some getting use to but really no big deal. If he really loves you this is a minor compromise to eliminate a major issue (i.e. snoring, separate bedrooms...). It's been working great for me for like 6 months now, so we're back in the same bed. Of course we're still not having sex, but hey this question is about your marriage not mine... Good luck hope things work out for you two.
First of all, married couples sleeping in separate rooms is a BIG no-no. That is the first step to disaster. I don't buy the whole ';My husband/wife snores'; or ';I need the bed to myself to get a good night's sleep'; excuses. Your first step is to start sleeping in the same bed and start TONIGHT! You don't have to have sex tonight but you must sleep together to regain that level of intimacy. Once you have the intimacy again, the sex will come naturally. Secondly, yes, get counseling. If he doesn't go, then go by yourself. Lastly, as for him getting you pregnant, YOU control that!! Get on birth control. But don't blame him if you get pregnant...it takes 2, remember?
This doesn't sound good. The snoring and separate bedrooms is bad. Go to counceling, but like you said, like something's missing. Maybe the pair of you aren't right for eachother


maybe it's not him, it's you. You said you have post pardom depression. Maybe that's making him depressed too. It's not your fault or his. I would try counceling