Not sure what to do....I feel lonely and need some advice on what to do ..whether to stay in my marriage or go

I've been married for 3 years, suffered through emotional torture by my husband, neglect for my feelings, and lonliness beyond belief. I've watched him ignore our baby on a daily basis, indulge in his shopping addiction, put his friends and his whole life first. I've never felt important or significant. Then recently i found out that i grew close to one of my male friends. He's older, wiser, been there done that so he has tons of advice, support, and understanding. Through it all, he's never once made any kind of move on me or said i should leave my marriage. His presence in my life has made me realize that i am once again facing lonliness and i feel as though ive been cheated out of a real relationship. There is longing for him, guilt about leaving, and wondering what would really be my wakeup call. My friend wanted to be with me..in the end...but told me i have TOO MUCH ON MY PLATE...crushed me. But then i wondered...why was i crying over that? I realized something has to change. ...Not sure what to do....I feel lonely and need some advice on what to do ..whether to stay in my marriage or go
I read an answer another person posted to a different question. It was a very intelligent and thoughtful answer. Let me read you his last paragraph....it hit home to me and is very useful advice in lots of people's personal dilemma's.





This is what he wrote.





';Again, this is an area that shows you are lacking personal boundaries for yourself. Like how long are you willing to wait for his potential to materialize. Or how long do I want my children to be exposed to these family traditions. You have to set boundaries for yourself and for your marriage, otherwise you will be a bottomless pit, drowning in misery and bitterness. Yes, you have to change, but for you so you can find happiness. If you go to a restaurant and they take forever to serve you, do you stay and tolerate it, or do you have a boundary that if crossed you get up and leave. You need to have those in your relationships as well. Instead of trying to change someone who doesn't want to change, you have find acceptance, and decide if he really is your prince based on who he is now and not what he could be tomorrow.';


......................................鈥?br>




Isnt that great, I wish I could have said the same thing.





Maybe if we set boundaries in our personal life, it would make decisions like the one you are facing quite easy.





Take care.Not sure what to do....I feel lonely and need some advice on what to do ..whether to stay in my marriage or go
Only you can answer this question, but let me just say that dont leave a relationship because someone else shows you interest or offers you companionship. Try to work on the marriage. Go to counseling, seek help and tough it out. I mean you made a vow that you would work on the marriage through better or worse, so now is one of the worse times, and it is not time to just give up. Stay strong and faithful. Marriage takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice, commitment and loyalty, dedication and perseverence. You have to work on this on a daily. So I hope things work out for you and do some serious soul searching, without your emotional affair on the side hanging around. The more you indulge in this emotional affair the harder it will be to do the right thing in your marriage. Best of luck to you
Time to use the brain God gave you and get out the dumps. You have an obligation to Your children and yourself to make life better for all of You. The husband has more issues to deal with than you can help him with and His disregard for You in everything is like a large flashing sign that is saying get out. See a lawyer and take him for all you can. Put the baby in day care and embark on a career. Forget about men controlling your life and make the future for You and your child. The longer You wait the harder it will be.
Here's some great advice:





Should I Stay Or Go? Knowing When To End A Relationship


http://www.hearts-and-kisses.com/relatio鈥?/a>
You have but one life, don't waste it on someone that only cares for them selves and that self-centered.... I know I was once one of those guys, and practically ruined a great girls life because i was so immature
Perhaps your feelings are based on his filling a need in your life and not so much on love. You have to be careful not to mix the two up. You are really vulnerable right now and can end up making a mistake. Have you talked to your husband about how you're feeling? If you have, then maybe suggest some counseling for you both to go to. If he won't go, or it doesn't work, then maybe it is time to end the relationship. But don't let yourself grow any closer to your friend. It will just confuse you more and you need a clear head right now to make the decisions that you need to.
If you want out, it's easy to find a dozen reasons why. Maybe you should look for the reasons to stay. When have you told your husband how you feel? If your not communicating, then there isn't any chance for improvement. Marriage isn't easy, but has the potential for great rewards. It's your job to find those rewards. Fight for your man, do what it takes. If he's not beating you or cheating on you, do everything to make it work. Much of the problems you have will change as you both mature. But don't let it be the elephant in the room. You have to tell him how you feel. Show him kindness and love. Give him a reason to stay home. Maybe he's feeling the same way you are. Talk about it, do something about it to make it better. Don't complain about it if your not making an effort to improve it. Most of all, remember that the grass is always greener. Don't be fooled by the dangling carrot. There are plenty of people who have been through multiple marriages and still not found that perfect match. You don't find a great marriage, you build it. You can't buy it or wish it. It takes years of hard work to make it great. Don't hope for a mansion when you only supplied materials for a shack! It's like a model with no instructions. If you ask someone who don't build models, the'll tell you it's not worth trying. But if you ask a model builder, they'll work hard at building it because they know that there is a reward to be had. God bless you