Need some advice before my marriage is over because of issues have w/ husband on looking @other women?

Here is the thing ever since I was younger I have always cared about how I look but no matter what I did my mom always said I was ugly,fat and nobody would ever want me. i am now grown married and have kids and have nothing to do with her. But my problem is that I dont know how to control my feelings on my husband looking at other women constantly. Yeah yeah I know look but dont touch but he puts me down. He is constantly critisizing me about how I look or telling me how hot another girl is and how she wants him. I am not a model I had kids but I dress nice and how I important to me. I am healthy nice looking but he makes me feel ugly and not good enough. We will be doing fine then all of a sudden he ruins it by making remarks about another womans body etc. I dont want to know his thoughts. It really hurts when the man you love makes you feel bad about yourself I cry alot and my daughter sees it and she cries. i cant help it. All my life I have felt like I am not good enough my momNeed some advice before my marriage is over because of issues have w/ husband on looking @other women?
baby you're good. Anybody w/ beautiful green eyes ought to be loved by her man. Tell him how it hurts you. Tell him his words feel like stab wounds and he is ruining his marriage. It's not you. It's him. He's not treating you right. Don't let it get to your head. Don't make love to him if he treats you this way. It's very rude for a man to comment about other women to his wife. You are good enough. Moms are all good enough. They do so much. You have alot to be proud of. Don't let his insenstivity get you down. You'vd had his children. That should make you extremely hot in his eyes.


You need to tell him you two need to talk to someone b/f it's too late. Both of you together. Bring up the verbal abuse to the counsellor so it can be dealt with.Need some advice before my marriage is over because of issues have w/ husband on looking @other women?
So basically your husband has taken on the role of your mother in regards to your self-esteem, putting you down, etc.





::my husband looking at other women constantly. Yeah yeah I know look but dont touch but he puts me down. He is constantly critisizing me about how I look or telling me how hot another girl is and how she wants him.





His behavior is inappropriate. He's being disrespectful to you and to the women he's gawking at.





If he won't go to cousneling with you, go on your own for a boost to you self-esteem. My guess is when you feel good about yourself either 1) you'll kick him to the curb or 2) he's then what he has in you, because you will glow.





Reading material to consider:


Five Love Langauges, Gary Chapman


Relatioship Rescue, Dr Phil


Getting the Love You Want, Harville Hendrix





My best to you.
I'm so sorry sweetie. Sometimes those whom you love the most hurt you the most. The important thing is - how do you see yourself? Do you love yourself? Don't let the other person ruins your life.





A professional counselor is needed if you want to keep this marriage. You both need to do this ASAP if you love each other. Hug.
If he were any kind of man, he would never say such things. Have you talked to him abou this? Does he know how he makes you feel?





If you have, and he does, what are his responses?





I think you husband is being nothing but disrespectful of you and also your kids. If your kids se that it is alright to disrespect another person, how are they going to act when they grow up?





You need to put a foot down and speak your mind. If he cannot abide by a simple rule of not disrespecting you, then I think you may have a deeper problem here.





Good luck
You realize, don't you, that you married your mother? You picked a man who treated you exactly the way she did.


Your mom: no matter what I did my mom always said I was ugly, fat and nobody would ever want me.


Your husband: he is constantly criticizing me about how I look or telling me how hot another girl is.





You need some therapy- you're just repeating the same old patterns and your daughter will ultimately suffer.
He married you did'nt he so therefore something attracted him to you and now there are kids. What he is doing is belittling you and that is wrong. Don't hide your feeling and tell him that you love him and his flirting with obscene remarks have to stop and show you some appreciation or else you will leave him. Being the wife you deserve respect. Tell him that you respect him being your king and you are the queen but lots of layman out there would love to have his queen. Go out to a candlelight dinner and discuss the situation and make everyone happy in the home. Put love back in action.
Violet has got it right, you did marry your mother and you do need therapy. You are going to destroy your own children's lives if you don't seek help for your problem. You will continue to pick bad relationships until you get over your issues. Seek help now.
We are all beautifully when we smile! Put an end to this, he is stripping you from your dignity, your pride and your self-identity as a woman. Soon he may be starting the cycle with your daughter. Don`t try to understand why he does that, you will not cure him from it anyway. If you want to raise a young lady full of confidence in herself you`re not in the right home.
you know what? you do not need him! there is absolutly no reason why YOUR HUSBAND puts you down like that. of all people you hold close to your heart. let me tell you something, you dont need to change a thing about yourself, as long as you're comfortable being you and your kids love you, that's all that matters. if i were you, if your husband wants to look at other women and flirt with them, let him. tell him, if that's what he wants, go get it, but once that doesnt work out for him, there's no coming back. you dont deserve this ungreatful treatment he's been giving you.


tell you what. here's a little bit of advise. you say you have a bit of a belly. why dont you try working on loosing that, treat yourself out to get your hair and nails done, go buy yourself a new outfit (shoes usually help me) and start feeling good about yourself. make it all about you for a change, dont be there for him and wait on him hand and foot, (b/c he expects that) then maybe after awhile he'll come to realize you are the only one for him and he should learn to appriciate you alot more than what he has. i wish you the best of luck. and just remember, you deserve better.
Tough question to answer but things are not always as they appear. With a history of insecurity there is no doubt you feel this way. Finding a way to deal with this is challenging but can be achieved. Do some reading, self help books are great and surrounding yourself with positive affirmantions is a great help also. If it helps my husband often looks at other women and does indeed comment about them, I too used to worry but now I just laugh and remind him that his is an old man and that woman would not want him anyway and he is stuck with little old me, or he might light to go and give it a go but don't come crying to me when she laughs. I know it all sounds so simple but it took me along time to get to this, and now I find myself looking and commenting on younger, lovelier men and commenting to hubby. Believe it or not this can be an advantage to married life and keep the excitment up. There is much more I could offer but would be here all day. I wish you luck. Just one more thing, love and respect you, the rest will follow.
SISTER TO SISTER, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING... IT IS OKAY THAT YOUR HUSBAND LOOK @ OTHER WOMEN JUST ALONG AS HE KNOW THAT YOU IS QUEEN ***** AROUND THE HOUSE AND THAT YOU COME FIRST.. THE NEXT TIME HE SAY THAT YOU SAY DAMN SHE SAID THE SAMETHING TO ME AND WALK AWAY.. (LOL) IF YOU DO THIS HIT ME BACK AND TELL ME ABOUT IT OKAY.. bugg007us@yahoo.com..
Gawking at other women is disrespectful. So is gawking at other men (in your case if you do this to your mate).





Fire a warning shot or two across his bow: ';Hey you! I'm standing right here, and I see you gawking at that woman, and I find it highly disrespectful';.





See if that helps, but... the time to have given him a chance or two to correct this was before you married him.





Based on additional info: whether or not you did anything to earn this disrespect, it can't continue. You must be prepared to leave him.
That's called emotional and psychological abuse, sweetheart, and you deserve someone who WON'T do that to you!


He isn't even worth your time!!


Get out, leave the jerk.
My fiance makes remarks about women too, and even gets a hard on watching Nip/Tuck but wont have sex with me.





I honestly don't know, maybe we both need a better significant other, but I sure don't feel like leaving mine, so maybe you're in the same boat and know the real answer to your question but don't want to accept it.





On the other hand, if you're bothered by it and he threatens to leave you if you don't just accept it, and what you want to do is save your marriage? Seems simple enough - hold in everything you ever feel and don't speak your mind. Then at least one of the people in the relationship will be happy, it just wont be you :(
See a counsellor, and get some help -- it should help you deal with your situation, and deal with the emotional abuse.