I'm not scared or afraid hes not the one, I know for sure and am willing to take him in good times and bad.
Anyways, For a marriage to work, I'm thinking alot of understand, commucation, honestly, trust.....
But I'm also looking for any tips/advice as to make a great marriage!Marriage Tips: I'm getting married on 6-15-08 and looking for advice and tips!?
Start your marriage with complete honesty - and never keep secrets. Be able to talk with each other - and to always tell the truth - and be able to tackle any problem together. Don't start your marriage with lies, or deception.
Vow to each other to never let the sun rise while you are mad at each other ... get over the madness before the sun rises - and make up with each other.
Each of you give over 100 % - and learn to look for the thing that makes each other take each other for granted - and omit that from your marriage.
Agree --- to disagree. But learn to meet each other in the middle.
Be best friends. Also be able to talk %26amp; communicate. Honor each other.
And know - that marriage is hard work for everyone .. but it has so many priceless memories if you hang in there.
Best wishes to both of you.Marriage Tips: I'm getting married on 6-15-08 and looking for advice and tips!?
dont gain weight.
Go to pre-marriage counseling,that way you start things off right. Marriage is hard,a great marriage is alot of hard work. If you add kids to the mix it's easy to lose track of not only yourself but your marriage. Your marriage should ALWAYS come first. I know this because I have been married twice and divorced once and now seperated. In answering this question I thought what piece of advice would I wish i had been told and this is it.Read some books about marriage.Dr. Phils Relationship Rescue is excellent.......
Enjoy each other and your time together. Be forgiving. Don't expect it to be perfect for the first year (it won't be) You will need time to adjust to being married. Don't keep fighting about the same thing and bringing up old fights. Try not to go to bed angry. Don't bring your family or friends into any fights you guys have. Those discussions should be just between the two of you. Most of all, remember you love each other and that is why you got married in the first place and together you can work anything out. Good Luck!
Here is the one piece of advice that you should listen too: don't get married. If you do get married, make sure you aren't the bread winner, that way when you get divorced he will have to pay you like most divorced men.
Even though you are married don't forget to date each other. You need to always make time for each other if once a week or once a month just the two of you
Remember that you are equal to each other. Understanding, communication and all of that is great. Don't sweat the small stuff and choose your fights wisely. Be each others best friends.
patience. the first few years will be hard, trust me. but be patient and enduring. whenever you get mad and are about to do something ';crazy'; remind yourself of why u 2 got together in the 1st place.
best wishes.
Remember communication is the hardest to do , but the most important. Trust is the hardest to get back once it is lost.Congratulations , I wish you many happy years together. We will be celebrating our 50th this year. He is my best friend.
Here is my best advice. Don't ever make a eggs-bacon big breakfast unless it is on the weekend. EVER! Then you can be nice and offer to make a breakfast occasionally on a weekend.....he will love it. If you make the mistake of offering to make him breakfast before work on weekdays, you will have to get up earlier and have a mess to clean up ever night before beginning dinner. It won't take long before it will be expected and not appreciated. Trust me on this one....and tell no one. Just slide the box of Cheerios and milk on the table during the week.
dont have children for atleast 2 yrs.. enjoy the newly wed thing.. and spend time together and with friends..
Make sure this is what you want. You need to make sure that you will not break up no matter what happens. Listen carefully to your vows. Remember, what God has joined together let no man put asunder. This committment if for LIFE.
First of all, congratulations!
Second of all, I strongly recommend the book ';The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work'; by Dr. John Gottman. It's an excellent, down-to-earth, easy-to-practice book for any couple, even if they aren't having problems.
Third of all, it's important to remember that getting married doesn't change much about your relationship. If you're happy with the way things are now, then great. If you have expectations about what ';being married'; will do, as in what it will change, then you might be in for some disappointment.
Lastly, never forget the reasons why you're marrying him. Seriously, even if it means writing them down and placing them out somewhere!
First of all...don't get married if you're not sure...and even if you are, think twice. But if you have to and are young enough, wait on kids for AT LEAST 5 years. Kids change everything and contrary to what a lot of the fairy tale tellers on this website may say, they don't change everything for the better all the time.
First of all....congrats! Secondly.....marriage is like a job. A very hard job. One that u will be working to get better at for the rest of ur life. Nobody's perfect honey.....we all learn from experience. Good luck!
i think u got all the basis and tips i would say for both of u just dont forget to apreciate the other no matter hhow long u have been together,congrats and good luck
Find out now how you are going to handle the money , checking account and bills.
What will happen if you want to buy something special jusst for you do you have to discuss with him first
You both need to spend your money in the same way and in the same places -
u need to agree ont he most important issues going into a marriage like finances, children, religion etc. also u both have to realize that marriage is a lifetime commitment not fun %26amp; games like some of ur friends or people on yahoo answers would like for u to believe. enjoy being newlyweds w/out the kids for awhile at least. most of all just be happy.
sort out issues such as money and who pays for what or set up joint accounts so that all monies go there for bills and living expenses.
work out when you both would like to start a family, better that you agree on something now rather than wait 2 yrs to find out that he doesnt want kids!!!
i think as long as you can communicate openly and honestly, you will be fine.
you will also have to learn to hold your tongue and not say things in the heat of the moment that you may regret.
you seem to have a good out look and a good relationship so im sure you will be fine.
just make a promise to work on your relationship and if anything does come up or if one of you is unhappy with ANYTHING, talk about it rationally.
on march 18th, i will be married for 2 yrs and we are expecting our first child at the end of april.
congrats and good luck!!!
act like the wife in public but a mistress in bed. and most importantly, if you encounter a problem in your marriage, sit down and talk about it.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Not on the same page as husband...Marriage is going to hell..!!! ADVICE please?
ok my husband and i have been married for 2.5 years now. we got married when i was 18 and when he was 20. For the past year he has been making life changing events. He became a vegan, and wants to raise our son to be 1, he decided 6 months ago that he doesn't want to celebrate any holidays, not even thanksgiving, believes in god but thinks jesus is non-real and is made up...I disagree with it all. because of the changes he has made to his life, it has put a strain on our marriage. i do believe in jesus and i would want my child to have the experience to celebrate holidays....i have to be honest and say that i have become unhappy with him...it seems the only time we get along is when were having sex. which i don't enjoy. because i don't enjoy it with him, every time he ask i make up a excuse not to do it. tonight he asked for it and i told him no...i had just got off of work and had 1 hour b4 i went to my next job. becuz i said no he got mad and started saying alot of hurtful things...like well break up in a couple of years, he was stupid for marrying me, that he only married my becuz i had good p#$$y, that were on 2 different pages, and told me he didn't love me.
im so hurt and so lost...i dont know what to do...i need advice! whats my next step?Not on the same page as husband...Marriage is going to hell..!!! ADVICE please?
It could just be a stage. Maybe, he is just lost right now and isn't where he wants to be in life. I would give it a little bit of time, and by that, I mean a couple of years. If he doesn't want to celebrate holidays, take your kid to your parent's house and celebrate there. As far as him wanting your kid to be a vegan, I'm not sure what to tell you there but make sure he gets all the nutrition that he needs. I would recommend giving him vitamins.
Like I said before, it may be just a phase, but in a year or two if things aren't better, I'm think a divorce might be the way to go.
Also, if you don't want to wait a couple years to see if things get better, you might want to try just not living together for a while. Maybe, that will knock some sense into him.
The best of luck!Not on the same page as husband...Marriage is going to hell..!!! ADVICE please?
Marriages where people are unequally yoked often fail. You have to be on the same page... At least for the sake of your child. If not he will grow up confused.
You can have separate lives outside the marriage but your foundation has to have the same morals, goals, and views for the most part. It will always be a tug of war if not.
He does not respect you . Get out now - There is nothing there between you any more. Concentrate on your little boy.
End the marriage now. He's done lost his mind somewhere down the road.
you too just grew apart... that's why you shouldn't get married so young... but you just move on... be the adult as it doesn't sound like he can be... and your not on two different pages... Honey your on too different planets
A) Depriving a child of all of the nutrients needed during growth and development can be detrimental to his health and cause brain damage. Don't take my word for it, ask your doctor.
B) You are the mother and traditionally speaking the family follows the mothers religious beliefs. If he chooses not to celebrate holidays then fine but that is no reason for the two of you to enjoy yours with or without him.
Final) You need to do what you want and let him do what he wants. As far as your child goes, you have a choice also. There is no reason for a child to miss out on Thanksgiving in America. It almost sounds as though your husband has decided that holidays are just too hard and aren't worth the effort due to pure laziness. Thanksgiving is an American holiday based on our survival thanks to the Native Americans. It has nothing to do with gifts or religion. Every couple goes through sex changes and bouts of hatefullness. Your best bet is to let him know that he offended you and move on. Be tactful! Read this book. I read it when my sex life and marriage were going down hill. It gave me hope and gave me a back bone in my life which it sounds like you need one right now.
First off, he is no good and a loser. he is verbally abusive and doesn't deserve you.He shows total disrespect toward you. He is not a christian. Can't believe in God and think jesus is make believe,Is the sex the only thing keeping you there? because you should have more respect for yourself and not give him NONE!!!!!!!Divorce his butt and find someone that will treasure you and show you total respect and love...
sounds like you are going through hell right now.For one thing there is a god and your child needs to know this. You are so unhappy so get out now cause things will not get any better. As for your husband saying hurtful things to you he is not happy. He said he didn't love you so find someone that will.YOu got a job so you can stand on your own two feet without him.Good Luck %26amp; God bless you !
I am sorry :c( You are going to need to cling desperately to God right now. If your marriage is going to work, you are going to need to get your strength, and daily wisdom, from God. And only God can change your husband's heart and mind. This is one of the reasons that God tells us to wait until marriage before we become one in body, but God won't abandon you now if you belong to him. What I would suggest may sound like the hardest thing in the world to do, but this comes direct from the Bible - love your husband - action-love him. Don't deny him physical love - please him as much as you can. Serve him. Honour him. Forgive him daily. Do what you know to be right. Read your Bible to learn the kind of wife God wants you to be. I know this sounds totally opposite to what the world out there would say, because it's your husband who seems to be turning away - but this might be a point where you need to decide whether you'll be following the common flow of our culture's way, or your Lord God. He will carry you, I promise.elizabeth arden eyeshadow brush
im so hurt and so lost...i dont know what to do...i need advice! whats my next step?Not on the same page as husband...Marriage is going to hell..!!! ADVICE please?
It could just be a stage. Maybe, he is just lost right now and isn't where he wants to be in life. I would give it a little bit of time, and by that, I mean a couple of years. If he doesn't want to celebrate holidays, take your kid to your parent's house and celebrate there. As far as him wanting your kid to be a vegan, I'm not sure what to tell you there but make sure he gets all the nutrition that he needs. I would recommend giving him vitamins.
Like I said before, it may be just a phase, but in a year or two if things aren't better, I'm think a divorce might be the way to go.
Also, if you don't want to wait a couple years to see if things get better, you might want to try just not living together for a while. Maybe, that will knock some sense into him.
The best of luck!Not on the same page as husband...Marriage is going to hell..!!! ADVICE please?
Marriages where people are unequally yoked often fail. You have to be on the same page... At least for the sake of your child. If not he will grow up confused.
You can have separate lives outside the marriage but your foundation has to have the same morals, goals, and views for the most part. It will always be a tug of war if not.
He does not respect you . Get out now - There is nothing there between you any more. Concentrate on your little boy.
End the marriage now. He's done lost his mind somewhere down the road.
you too just grew apart... that's why you shouldn't get married so young... but you just move on... be the adult as it doesn't sound like he can be... and your not on two different pages... Honey your on too different planets
A) Depriving a child of all of the nutrients needed during growth and development can be detrimental to his health and cause brain damage. Don't take my word for it, ask your doctor.
B) You are the mother and traditionally speaking the family follows the mothers religious beliefs. If he chooses not to celebrate holidays then fine but that is no reason for the two of you to enjoy yours with or without him.
Final) You need to do what you want and let him do what he wants. As far as your child goes, you have a choice also. There is no reason for a child to miss out on Thanksgiving in America. It almost sounds as though your husband has decided that holidays are just too hard and aren't worth the effort due to pure laziness. Thanksgiving is an American holiday based on our survival thanks to the Native Americans. It has nothing to do with gifts or religion. Every couple goes through sex changes and bouts of hatefullness. Your best bet is to let him know that he offended you and move on. Be tactful! Read this book. I read it when my sex life and marriage were going down hill. It gave me hope and gave me a back bone in my life which it sounds like you need one right now.
First off, he is no good and a loser. he is verbally abusive and doesn't deserve you.He shows total disrespect toward you. He is not a christian. Can't believe in God and think jesus is make believe,Is the sex the only thing keeping you there? because you should have more respect for yourself and not give him NONE!!!!!!!Divorce his butt and find someone that will treasure you and show you total respect and love...
sounds like you are going through hell right now.For one thing there is a god and your child needs to know this. You are so unhappy so get out now cause things will not get any better. As for your husband saying hurtful things to you he is not happy. He said he didn't love you so find someone that will.YOu got a job so you can stand on your own two feet without him.Good Luck %26amp; God bless you !
I am sorry :c( You are going to need to cling desperately to God right now. If your marriage is going to work, you are going to need to get your strength, and daily wisdom, from God. And only God can change your husband's heart and mind. This is one of the reasons that God tells us to wait until marriage before we become one in body, but God won't abandon you now if you belong to him. What I would suggest may sound like the hardest thing in the world to do, but this comes direct from the Bible - love your husband - action-love him. Don't deny him physical love - please him as much as you can. Serve him. Honour him. Forgive him daily. Do what you know to be right. Read your Bible to learn the kind of wife God wants you to be. I know this sounds totally opposite to what the world out there would say, because it's your husband who seems to be turning away - but this might be a point where you need to decide whether you'll be following the common flow of our culture's way, or your Lord God. He will carry you, I promise.
Can anybody give me some advice as what to do on a thirty one years of marriage?
its going down thedrain big time have been with him since i was seventeen have a twenty year old son have a very sucessful business and im so unhappy im fifty but my son and girlfriend and his friends always want me to party out with them so im not the old fifty by any means hubbie talks to every one normal but when it comes to me does not say much more than three words then usually ends up in an argument he just seems to bring the worst out in me its a bit like a love hate situation he wont make the effort to out for dinner he did 2 years ago go from one hotel to another with a barmaid that i had said he liked and when i fronted him in the hotel with her he said our marriage was over and she was the one the next day he said oh boy what did i do he hurt me so bad that night and i cant seem to get it together with him since i tell him to leave if he doesnt want to do anything with me and the answer is ive no where to go he has the money he can what do i do to shake this upCan anybody give me some advice as what to do on a thirty one years of marriage?
Girlfriend, I am going to answer your question, BIG TIME. Sit down and draft up a plan on how to save your marriage. Even give it a Time line, as to when the plan will be completed. This will keep you focused on trying to do everything possible to save the marriage, before calling it quits. So you won't have any regrets. Also, start exercising, getting that body toned back up, Start wearing more shorter sexier clothes. (classy) Start going out more leaving him behind. Start concentrating on you, making you happy, being happier to be around. Laugh more and start thinking young. 50 ain't old, PERIOD! When he sees you being attractive to other men, and other men are checking you out, he will say, wait a minute, let me investigate this situation one more time.(smile) It would be nice if he would sit down with you and draft a plan on how you both could save the marriage. Better yet, you sit down and write how you both can save your message. Then call a Meeting between you to. Give him advance notice, with a card saying, Family Business Meeting, the date and time. Then show him the plans. Discuss ways each of you can improve yourselves. Remember the time line!! After that time has passed, hopefully you will still be married. He ain't all bad if you have been with him this long. He just needs some motivation, some rejuvenation. Make yourself Sexy and Irresistible. At least after the Time line has passed, and nothing worked, you will know, he just doesn't want to be married to you. You will know, you gave it your best shot. So, when you start making plans to leave the marriage, you won't have any regrets. About your income, start saving some money. A seperate account, where you put money in, just in case. Because, you should Never be in a situation where you are Unhappy and STUCK. Unable to leave, worried, where will I go. You may have some drastic changes coming. They all will be OK and neccessary. You are strong, you can handle them. Change is good!!! Being in a one-bedroom appt, or single, is heaven, if you are Happy. Concentrate on ';YOU';!!!.Can anybody give me some advice as what to do on a thirty one years of marriage?
Cheat on him...no reason to get divorced, youve been married for so long why start over now.
the two of yous should sit down %26amp; figure out where yous see your selfs in 6 months and try and get there
31 years...wow, bless that. What happened honey? We have been together 8 yrs and we are having similar problems. Altho we don't fight like that, and no one has cheated on anyone (yet) and we don't bring out the worst in each other...we just don't sleep in the same bed (he says I snore) and we have sex maybe 5 times a year (he gives no reason).
I know what you are thinking tho. It's been 31 yrs, you know each other.....so, what happend?
Do you not offer sex enough, as in my relationship?
Did he work too many hours and is now a stranger?
Identify what made it work in the beginning and do those things again, if you really want to MAKE it work.
Also, as much as anyone of you may not want too, you MUST talk about it.
Tell him what is bothering you, ask what the problem(s) is/are and assess whether or not they can and are worth fixing. Same with him, he needs to tell you the same thing. You can't fix a problem if you do not know about it right?
However, if you really want out...dump the SOB. File for divorce, get the house and whatever money you can and let him have everything else. Or, liquidate everything, get to the checking and savings accounts first and split the proceeds in half.
You are only 50 honey, and sounds like people like you. If things can't be resolved within a few months....get the hell out and live your retirement years as a happy, fun-loving, dating divorcee. Let him date every bar whor* in the tri-state area and worry about his bad hair comb-over.
have sex with that cute guy at work who is never hittin on you!!!
have anal sex
File for divorce.
visit this site u will learn more http://www.55a.net/firas/english/index.p鈥?/a>
Tell him you want marriage counseling and if he won't go with you- go by yourself. Start getting yourself into a situation where you could be independent if you had to. Maybe you could get a part time job and start saving some money.
people tend to get in a rut after so long. there is no denying that you both love eachtother. after all, it's been 31 years!! try to wow him! if he cheated he is looking for something he's not getting....like passion and heat. you say you have a successful business....take some of that money and get a make over. i am not trying to say that you need one but change can be nice. you will feel better about yourself. change things up a bit, try romancing him and get the sparks going. do something wild. don't really ASK him, just do it and make it happen. you love eachother, you both are just being stubborn and walking away from potential arguments and neither of you is saying what you really feel or want. i really think he wants excitement. put yourself out there for your marriage and rock the boat with romance. good luck.
Girlfriend, I am going to answer your question, BIG TIME. Sit down and draft up a plan on how to save your marriage. Even give it a Time line, as to when the plan will be completed. This will keep you focused on trying to do everything possible to save the marriage, before calling it quits. So you won't have any regrets. Also, start exercising, getting that body toned back up, Start wearing more shorter sexier clothes. (classy) Start going out more leaving him behind. Start concentrating on you, making you happy, being happier to be around. Laugh more and start thinking young. 50 ain't old, PERIOD! When he sees you being attractive to other men, and other men are checking you out, he will say, wait a minute, let me investigate this situation one more time.(smile) It would be nice if he would sit down with you and draft a plan on how you both could save the marriage. Better yet, you sit down and write how you both can save your message. Then call a Meeting between you to. Give him advance notice, with a card saying, Family Business Meeting, the date and time. Then show him the plans. Discuss ways each of you can improve yourselves. Remember the time line!! After that time has passed, hopefully you will still be married. He ain't all bad if you have been with him this long. He just needs some motivation, some rejuvenation. Make yourself Sexy and Irresistible. At least after the Time line has passed, and nothing worked, you will know, he just doesn't want to be married to you. You will know, you gave it your best shot. So, when you start making plans to leave the marriage, you won't have any regrets. About your income, start saving some money. A seperate account, where you put money in, just in case. Because, you should Never be in a situation where you are Unhappy and STUCK. Unable to leave, worried, where will I go. You may have some drastic changes coming. They all will be OK and neccessary. You are strong, you can handle them. Change is good!!! Being in a one-bedroom appt, or single, is heaven, if you are Happy. Concentrate on ';YOU';!!!.Can anybody give me some advice as what to do on a thirty one years of marriage?
Cheat on him...no reason to get divorced, youve been married for so long why start over now.
the two of yous should sit down %26amp; figure out where yous see your selfs in 6 months and try and get there
31 years...wow, bless that. What happened honey? We have been together 8 yrs and we are having similar problems. Altho we don't fight like that, and no one has cheated on anyone (yet) and we don't bring out the worst in each other...we just don't sleep in the same bed (he says I snore) and we have sex maybe 5 times a year (he gives no reason).
I know what you are thinking tho. It's been 31 yrs, you know each other.....so, what happend?
Do you not offer sex enough, as in my relationship?
Did he work too many hours and is now a stranger?
Identify what made it work in the beginning and do those things again, if you really want to MAKE it work.
Also, as much as anyone of you may not want too, you MUST talk about it.
Tell him what is bothering you, ask what the problem(s) is/are and assess whether or not they can and are worth fixing. Same with him, he needs to tell you the same thing. You can't fix a problem if you do not know about it right?
However, if you really want out...dump the SOB. File for divorce, get the house and whatever money you can and let him have everything else. Or, liquidate everything, get to the checking and savings accounts first and split the proceeds in half.
You are only 50 honey, and sounds like people like you. If things can't be resolved within a few months....get the hell out and live your retirement years as a happy, fun-loving, dating divorcee. Let him date every bar whor* in the tri-state area and worry about his bad hair comb-over.
have sex with that cute guy at work who is never hittin on you!!!
have anal sex
File for divorce.
visit this site u will learn more http://www.55a.net/firas/english/index.p鈥?/a>
Tell him you want marriage counseling and if he won't go with you- go by yourself. Start getting yourself into a situation where you could be independent if you had to. Maybe you could get a part time job and start saving some money.
people tend to get in a rut after so long. there is no denying that you both love eachtother. after all, it's been 31 years!! try to wow him! if he cheated he is looking for something he's not getting....like passion and heat. you say you have a successful business....take some of that money and get a make over. i am not trying to say that you need one but change can be nice. you will feel better about yourself. change things up a bit, try romancing him and get the sparks going. do something wild. don't really ASK him, just do it and make it happen. you love eachother, you both are just being stubborn and walking away from potential arguments and neither of you is saying what you really feel or want. i really think he wants excitement. put yourself out there for your marriage and rock the boat with romance. good luck.
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