The current situation is putting a strain on my marriage? I need some advice?

My wife is very religious recently our son is 16 years old and he just told us that he is gay it was a big shock for me and my wife. I can accept my son being gay it is not a big deal but my wife is having a harder time accepting our son. She doesn't talk to him or want see him she avoid him, and tells him that he is going to hell and she wants to have a priest come and ';fix it'; and to send him to a place.





I told her she will not send my son away or try to change him she just said he can be cured of this sin in the eyes of god. I have told her to stop doing this to our son or she will push him away. But she won't change I even told her if she doesn't stop this I will leave with my son because she is hurting him. I don't know what to do? All of this is putting a strain on my marriage I love my wife but I can't see my son hurt. My sons sexuality is not a concern.The current situation is putting a strain on my marriage? I need some advice?
Your wife needs to understand that her relationship with God is personal to herself. She can't force her views of religion and righteousness on anyone else. Everyone has their own right to heaven or hell just the same as she does. If her beliefs tell her that being gay automatically destines one to hell, she's entitled to that but she can't force that view on her son. The bible says, ';Judge not, lest ye be judge in equal measure.'; If she is without sins, she has a right to cast her stones. Otherwise, she needs to learn a healthy dose of tolerance and unconditional love for her son. I could never reject my child because of sexual preference. Yes, I would be disappointed but I would still love him the same.





~ajThe current situation is putting a strain on my marriage? I need some advice?
Another brain washed church person! If I was in your shoes I would take my son and leave! Just because she believes what she does she has no right to try to force her beliefs on others. That is actually a sin in it's self she should not judge.
You know what is right... And you are doing it.





Tough situation. I would recommend real counseling instead of internet chatter.. I believe if you two are so far apart on this, it could tear the marriage apart.
You need to sit down with your son and have a heart to heart talk. Let him know he is loved for who is and not his sexuality. Being verbal and upfront with him will let him know and reassure him of your unconditional love. You have to explain to him why is mother can't bring herself to accept him. It is not him she can not accept, it is the religion that she has ingrained in her head, that will not let her accept these facts.


She means well and the best way to bring harmony back into the home is for you and your son to accept the way she is and figure out a way to avoid having discussions about his lifestyle. Remind him he is 2 years from becoming an adult and quite possibly living out on his own. 2 years living with his Mom and Dad in a safe environment and be able to finish school is priceless.


When she wants to make an issue out of it just say '; it has been taken care of and it does not need to be reopened again.'; if she continues, then you, or you and your son need to leave the house and go for a walk or ride.


If you respond the same way every time she tries to make it an issue, soon enough she will get the message and quit. Do not be baited into heated arguments.


Bright Blessings to you all.


Remember Dad, communication is the key and asking questions will help you to understand more what your child is going through
Your wife needs counselling. It is just too bad that religion and normal life do not belnd together well in a few circumstances and this is one of them.





Yes religion says what she believes but it has been proved that a person is born with his/her inclination and it is not his/her choice. The genes come in from the parents who actually bring the child into the worls using the guidelines/principles of religous teachings.





Give her some options to try out on the son (if he is understanding enough) and also get her to attend counselling - hopefully the person she expectes to ';fix'; the son (who quite obviously might be religious leader) will be able to cure her of her way of thinking (that is if the person is in touch with his inner God).





Give it a go both ways - one of the two ( and that one is the wife) has to accept the fact. Dont make matters worse by moving out or something, try religious counselling. It might help.
I THINK YOU ARE RIGHT AND YOUR WIFE IS WRONG.





ESPECIALLY BEING THE FACT THAT SHE CALLS HERSELF RELIGIOUS. IF SHE WAS TRULY SPIRITUAL IT SHOULD NOT BOTHER HER HOW HER SON IS OR HIS SEXUALITY. ALL THAT MATTERS IS THAT HE IS ALIVE, HEALTHY AND IS NOT SELLING DRUGS, ON DRUGS, RUNNING THE STREETS OR WHATEVER ELSE. IF ALL SHE CAN DO IS FOCUS ON THE FACT THAT HER SON IS GAY THEN SHE SHOULD REEVALUATE HERSELF (FIRST) AS A MOTHER(SECOND) AS A SPIRITUAL BELIEVER IN GOD.(THIRD)HOW THE FATHER AND HER HUSBAND FEELS ABOUT THE WAY SHE'S REACTING TO THE NEWS.





WHAT IF THE SON NEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT HIS LIFESTYLE AND HE KEPT IT HIDDEN.


I TOTALLY AGREE WITH EVERY ACTION YOU PLAN TO SET INTO MOTION IF SHE DOES NOT CHANGE HER THINKING AND THE WAY SHE ACTS TOWARDS YOUR SON.